The truth is, when people ask you “who are you?” that’s a nearly impossible question to answer. At 19 years old, do I really know who I am or even who I want to be? Probably not. Correction: most definitely not. Do I have an idea of what career path I want to follow, or even what I want to study? Goodness no. This is probably concerning considering I am just about finished with my freshman year of college, and have gained close to zero clarity as to what career path I hope to follow. To say this year has been a roller coaster is quite possibly the greatest cliché analogical understatement of the century. There were high “highs” and (a lot of) low “lows”. I kept a lot of the lows to myself because, in all honesty, my lowest of lows are nothing compared to tragedies that occur around the world daily, even in my own city. Through all the good and bad- I can honestly say that I have gained more clarity and understanding of who I am and who I want to be than I ever have before- probably because in a big sense, I have always known who this is, but I let myself slip into negativity, pessimism, and sadness, which gilded my certainty of self more than ever before. I got away from my true self on many emotional levels this year- But the lessons I have learned from it are innumerable and I am beyond thankful for that.

I have come to find that life isn’t some drawn out roadmap of a single destination. Once you think you get to an end all destination, you really have it all wrong. That’s not at all what life is about, at least that’s not how I choose to see it. Others may see it differently, but one of the most important lessons that I have learned this year is that it is an absolutely wonderful thing to define life in my own way, and it is beautiful to live it on my own terms: The most incredible feeling in this entire world is embracing yourself for what you are so far, and extending this same embrace to the lives of others. Life really is a truly beautiful journey, even in its darkest times.

It’s a weird concept to think about “not knowing who you truly are.” It’s like, I am me now, and I always have been me. Where am I heading into the future with this “me” thing, who the hell really knows. One thing that I do know for certain is the intentions I aim to live my life with, and I think this is the summation of “me” thus far. I want to focus on optimism, and appreciating people for who they are. I hope to not define my life only by the things I am involved in, or the hobbies I choose to partake in, or the career path I will finally choose one day. Of course, these are important facets of my life, but these are the tangible riches. I want to have a foundation of goals that is based upon intentions, a culmination of things that I hope to not only achieve, but embrace in every endeavor and choice I make. So I guess, for now, I will define myself by my desires, my hopes, and my intentions. Stay tuned for what’s to come, I want to take the world by storm one day.

It’s pretty simple really: I want to live a life of love and compassion. I want to inspire and to be inspired. I want to live everyday with grace and gratitude. I want to seize the adventures and beauty of this world. I want to embrace my tender heart- to never be ashamed of being soft or gentle, to never apologize for tears. I want to use my gifts to help others. I want to be a part of a movement- a movement in which everyone not only entertains the ideas of acceptance and tolerance, but embraces and lives them out. I want to work towards this more than anything else. I want to spread inclusivity, positivity, and happiness. I want to be an individual that enlivens people with her presence, and strengthens herself with the inspirations around her. I want to live a life of moral intentions, of purity, and good-nature (but yes, my Italian sass will probably never cease to exist.) I want to surround myself with people who inspire me to do better, to be better. I want to take risks, and embrace the reasons I am different. I want to be a mentor, a role model, a guider for anyone that I can. I want to live a life I am proud of. I want to learn, to grow, to enrich myself everyday I am on this earth. I want to do my part to make the world around me a brighter place. I want to live a life full of passion and goodwill. I want to remember the gifts that God has given me, to be thankful, and to accept my weaknesses too. I want to believe in myself, remember that I am here to do something with this world. I want to cherish love and laughter, and not take anything in life too seriously.

Maybe it isn’t so simple. I guess you (whoever it is that I may be talking to) and I will just have to wait and see. I don’t think I will ever be able to define myself exactly, but I certainly aim to never stop adding to this list of things that I hope one day will. It is absolutely mind boggling to think that out of seven billion (and counting) people on this planet, not one single person is the same. It’s unbelievable, frightening, and completely spectacular. So yes, I am but a tiny speck in this grand universe, someone who is so insignificant and unknown to most of the world, but when you zoom into that tiny speck in California of a girl named Jenna, I’ll be right here, taking life one step at a time, trying to grow and learn, and make the small space I take up full of depth and meaning.