I have wanted to start a blog for a few years now. I have always loved the idea of engaging in a community and outlet where I can share my own ideas and opinions and read about the ideas and opinions of others around me. I have always loved journal writing, and writing in general. It helps me to organize the chaotic amalgamation of thoughts in my head, and I truly think that, at times, it expresses my true voice more than my audible voice has the ability to. If nothing else, this blog will just become a personal journal of my own recollection and growth over the years, a documentation of my ideas, accomplishments, failures, and thoughts. Alongside this, I genuinely hope to provide some type of help or advice to others (or maybe just some form of entertainment). I have always loved reading blog posts because I can truly hear people’s voices through them, and I can learn a lot from whatever it is they are blogging about. I hope to have a similar impact one day, even if it is only on a small scale.

“She Needed Wide Open Spaces” has a lot of different meanings for me. Initially, I was just so anxious to start a blog that I was about ready to settle for any name that sounded remotely creative. I started to think about phrases that were meaningful to me, and I came upon the Dixie Chick’s old album, “Wide Open Spaces”, (throwback to the late 90’s)! The single, with the same name, was one of my favorite songs growing up (mostly because it was incredibly catchy). As I have gotten older, the song has taken on a different meaning for me. In this present moment, it captures my exact emotions. The song is essentially about a girl’s desire to leave home, find a dream and a life of her own, to make her own mistakes and independently tackle the world.

So why is this all relevant? Two of my biggest fears have always been failure and change. It’s not that I am opposed to new opportunities and adventures,  but more that I am scared to leave things behind, to not have things from my past exactly the way they were. It is incredibly hard for me to think about people or situations in my life not being there, or at least not in the same capacity. This all presents a problem- because I simply cannot have it both ways. After high school, I decided to attend college in my hometown. Although I have been fortunate enough to live in the dorms and experience a new sense of independence, I have always had this feeling that I got “left behind” from all my friends who decided to go far from home to experience “bigger and better things”.

These days, I am a little envious of that. I feel like I need to just jump and make a change. I crave this. It is hard for me to accept that life is moving and changing and it isn’t going to wait for me to “be ready” for the changes that are bound to happen. For the first time in my life, I feel like I not only want to start embracing change, but to make a conscious effort to make changes. I feel like I need wide open spaces: maybe a new city, a new place, new people, new adventures. This is not easy. I have thought countless times back and forth about transferring schools to get this space that I am seeking. Aside from the logistical difficulties of transferring, it is, to put it simply, absolutely terrifying in so many ways. If I left this city, I would be leaving everything I have ever known. I would be leaving the city that I call home, the place that means more to me than any place in this world. I would be leaving my new college friends that have come to mean so much to me in such a short period of time. I would be leaving my family, the people that mean more to me than anyone else possibly could. I would be leaving anything and everything that is familiar. It would be so easy and comfortable for me to just stay here. I live in a great city, one that many people only dream of living in- but something is pulling me, telling me, “it’s time for you to take a risk, Jenna!”.

I am only 19 years old. I realize that I have so much time ahead of me to travel and explore, but something is pulling me to do it now, to do it soon. I realize that my “struggle” of feeling stuck, is really not a struggle at all. My life has been full of amazing blessings. I am forever grateful for every opportunity I have been given, and all the kind and caring souls in my life. It’s just that, I have always chosen a comfortable way of life, and I am currently working on breeching this comfort zone. I fear that if I don’t do it now, I won’t ever build up the courage to do it.

I want to learn and to grow and to expand myself as much as possible. I know that I want to help people. Helping people is my ultimate goal in life. It is what I love to do, on any and every scope. I feel as though the more I experience and enrich myself, uncover about life, and understand about this world: The more people I can reach, help, and impact. I want to expose myself to things I’ve never seen before, unveil my ignorances and fill these gaps with knowledge and awareness. There is so much that I do not know about this world, and I hope to never, ever, stop learning about it.

I think this is why the name has such a deep meaning to me. I think “She Needed Wide Open Spaces” is timeless. It encompasses not only what I am feeling at this present moment, but embraces a sense of adventure and knowledge and desire and individualism- all of which are the essence of what
I hope to convey through this blog. This is such a fun and positive outlet for me and I am thankful to anyone who has read this far (even if it’s only you, mom and dad) 😉 Maybe this blog itself will be the wide open space that I am craving. Who really knows, I will just have to wait and see. Thank you to everyone who has supported me on this wonderful, wild journey called life. This is only the beginning and I cannot wait to see what the future holds for me!

XOXO,

Jenna